Way behind

So I am a horrible blogger.  I kept meaning to write more, and it seems I can never find the time.  I feel behind in everything.  Well I have now officially made it past Braden's first birthday.  Although the week of was rough, the day was way more peaceful than I anticipated.  I had my sad moments, but I felt good about how we honored my sweet boy.  We released balloons with cards attached telling a little about Braden and with our name and address so they could be mailed back to us.  We actually got one back from 340 miles away.  We had a monkey cupcake cake and donated a box to the hospital.  I spent so much time on that box.  I was really proud of how it turned out.  I had been feeling pretty good since then, until this weekend.  This was a sad, sad couple of days.  Yardsaling, and seeing a monkey toy box and baby clothes started the sadness.  My nephew's birthday party on the anniversary of Braden's scheduled c-section topped it off.  One more anniversary this month- June 19, his original due date, then all the first anniversaries should be over.  On to the second ones I guess.  On a happier note, we have found a house to rent, finally!  Can't wait to finally be on our own together.  Tommy and I have actually never lived alone together before.  We have been staying with my parents since Tommy got out of the Air Force, until we could find a place to live.  I am nervous and excited.  I hope Christian, my 11year old does ok with the move.  He has autism had lived with only me and my parents for a long time.  I can't wait for it to be our own little family.  Now here's hoping we can add a little brother or sister to the mix.  I know we need to wait awhile with the move and all, but I'm impatient!  I just don't want Christian to be alone anymore.